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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26288125">Ultraman Melos: Alien Conspiracy Theorist</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/beautifuldimension/pseuds/beautifuldimension'>beautifuldimension</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Battle of the Ultra Brothers, ウルトラシリーズ | Ultra Series</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aliens, Flash Fic, Gen, crackfic, its 2am but I wrote it anyways</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 22:28:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>512</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26288125</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/beautifuldimension/pseuds/beautifuldimension</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Melos manages to watch one too many alien conspiracy documentaries and decides to meet the little grey dudes himself. Zoffy's the one left to clean up the mess.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ultraman Melos: Alien Conspiracy Theorist</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/comicalcarnival/gifts">comicalcarnival</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zoffy, out of the kindness of his heart, shared his Netflix account with Melos.</p><p>This was, objectively, the worst decision he had ever made.</p><p>Zoffy didn’t realize the extent of his error, however, until he got a text message from Melos:</p><p>             <em>IM GONNA MEET THE ALIENS</em></p><p>Attached was a selfie of a human-sized Melos, wearing sunglasses and a Hawaiian shirt, standing in front of the entrance to Area 51.</p><p>Zoffy dropped everything and made his way to earth, citing a galactic emergency. He prayed to Noa that he’d get there on time.</p>
<hr/><p>Zoffy managed to make it to Earth in just a few hours, a new record for him. Not even Taro dying at the hands of Birdon could get him to move that fast.</p><p>Now, Zoffy knew a bit more about going undercover on Earth than Melos, borrowing the body of a low-level scientist who was driving to work. Zoffy apologized to his now-comatose host, before gunning the engine and speeding his way to Area 51.</p><p>Zoffy parked the car and sprinted into the building and made his way to the more secure parts of the base, frantically searching Melos. Just he's about to give up looking for Melos, he heard a familiar voice from behind the next door…</p><p>“<em>… get my good side… yeah, like that… I can sign that for ya’… no, no, I insist…</em>”</p><p>Zoffy used his keycard and burst into the room, shouting “He means no harm! He’s just an idi—"</p><p>The scientists in the room turned to Zoffy and sighed in relief. “Dr. Miller, thank God you finally clocked in! Maybe you can deal with this nut…”</p><p>“I am NOT a nut,” Melos snapped. “I’m just a concerned citizen.”</p><p>Zoffy stomped over to Melos and grabbed his arm. “What the hell are you doing here Melos,” Zoffy hissed.</p><p>“I want to see the aliens.”</p><p>“… what aliens?”</p><p>“You know! The little, short, grey ones.”</p><p>Zoffy pinched the bridge of his nose and tried not to cry in frustration. “Melos… that’s a conspiracy theory. They’re not real.”</p><p>“But what about that documentary I saw?”</p><p>“Melos… you’re the only grey alien here.”</p><p>Melos looked shocked. Defeated. He turned to the other scientists in the room. “He… he’s lying right? There’s no… aliens?”</p><p>Everyone shook their heads. “You’re the first one.”</p><p>Melos hung his head. “But I just wanted some new friends…”</p><p>“I know,” Zoffy consoled. “But how about this, why don’t we get you a glow-in-the-dark baseball hat at the gift shop?”</p><p>“Only if I can get a milkshake on the way back.”</p><p>“Now you’re pushing it.”</p><p>One of the scientists came up behind Zoffy as he was leading Melos out and whispered “Um, Dr. Miller, we don’t have a gift shop-”</p><p>“Just dunk a hat in nuclear waste, same thing. He’ll <em>love</em> it.”</p>
<hr/><p>Zoffy led Melos out of Area 51, arm in arm, past a small crowd of people eager to get a small glimpse of the base — never knowing that the weird, smug guy in the shiny armor was that silver alien they wanted to meet all along.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you, ComicalCarnival, for egging me on to write this. This is the stupidest thing I have ever written, and I am proud.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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